The process of being admitted into a mental health facility is daunting. I was asked so many questions. I didn't realize that there were so many ways to ask a person if they intended to harm them self or others. I lost track after 5. I was taken into a room with an admitting coordinator and my school's social worker. At this point I'd been doing nothing but crying for a few hours. I was utterly exhausted mentally, physically, just done. I knew that I needed help when I spoke to Ms. R, I just didn't know that THIS is what I was going to be going into.

Luckily enough for me it was decided that I could go into the out patient program. I was terrified that I would have to go into in patient. I did NOT want to be kept away from my dog, the only safety I had in my life because my husband was on the road. I convinced them that I truly did not want to harm myself in that moment and that I had to take care of my dog. I was instructed to be back the following morning at 9 am. I had NO idea what was going to happen. I was clueless when it came to knowing just how long I would be in the program, at first I thought it was just going to be for a week.... Yeah, that was a nice thought.

Ms. R checked up on me through the night and made sure to call me first thing in the morning. I kind of felt like I was being babysat. I understand now of course why people were checking up on me so much. I find it interesting that people who don't know what I've been through will ask me why I wasn't at work for so long and when I tell them that I tried to kill myself they are taken aback and offer to help. Not that I blame them for being shocked, it's just that, why can't people just offer to help on a day to day basis? What happened to just being supportive and not needing a reason like someone is extremely depressed? I try to keep this in mind as I am healing and trying to become more aware of those around me. It is so important to remember that EVERYONE is living their own story and we really have no idea what that story is. I hope that I can help to spread this message and the get us all thinking more not just about ourselves but thinking of others and being more kind. We all need more kindness in our lives.